Sometimes on Sundays, you need a motivational song after a long weekend to get you up and going, especially when you're up early getting ready to go to church and spend time with family. Whatever you're doing, it's probably been a long weekend, and kicking back with some tunes is in order. This week, to go with the summery feeling in the air, I'm rocking out to "Gone" by Switchfoot. This is a simple song about appreciating your every moment, and it's something most people-actually, everyone-could stand to remember. So take your Ipod or CD boombox down to the beach and crank this song up before you hop in the water. Listen to it above. Happy Sunday!
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Loving on North Carolina
Summer has reminded me how much I love North Carolina. The air smells different. The feelings in the air are different. Even with the humidity around, I had a beautiful week. I especially had a good time visiting North Topsail for the first time. With Al's family down, we spent a day at the beach, feeling the sand in our toes and the breeze in our hair. His little sisters and nephew played around us, happy to be playing out in the sun. What is there to love about North Carolina?
The food.
Fried chicken. Pulled pork. Shrimp burgers. Fresh seafood. Is your mouth watering yet?
Fishing.
Fishing is a way of life down here. It's so easy to find a place to pick up some live bait and spend your day baking in the sun with a fishing pole. Fish under bridges, out in the woods by the Neuse River and White Oak River Basin, on the beach, or off of any bridge. We haven't caught anything yet, but we will! In the meantime, we'll just cross our fingers and drink cold beers.
The atmosphere.
Even in the summertime, when there are a lot of out-of-towners, the atmosphere is less one of frustration and more of calm happiness. Family is so important here, and maybe that's what it is that makes people here some of the friendliest people around. Every time I step out of my house, I feel like I'm supposed to have a good time. Every thing is so warm and inviting and relaxing! It feels great to live in a place like that, where it just feels good to be alive every day.
The beaches.
Emerald Isle is by far my favorite, but I've only been to a few around here. In many of the beaches, however, the water is unbelievably beautiful. The sun hits it in the right light all the time! It's amazing. It's always a good temperature, and the beach itself is spotlessly clean and filled with whole shells to collect. Collecting shells is one of my favorite things to do down here-there are so many different kinds, you're bound to find a ton of shells that are not at all similar.
The food.
Fried chicken. Pulled pork. Shrimp burgers. Fresh seafood. Is your mouth watering yet?
Fishing.
Fishing is a way of life down here. It's so easy to find a place to pick up some live bait and spend your day baking in the sun with a fishing pole. Fish under bridges, out in the woods by the Neuse River and White Oak River Basin, on the beach, or off of any bridge. We haven't caught anything yet, but we will! In the meantime, we'll just cross our fingers and drink cold beers.
Even in the summertime, when there are a lot of out-of-towners, the atmosphere is less one of frustration and more of calm happiness. Family is so important here, and maybe that's what it is that makes people here some of the friendliest people around. Every time I step out of my house, I feel like I'm supposed to have a good time. Every thing is so warm and inviting and relaxing! It feels great to live in a place like that, where it just feels good to be alive every day.
The beaches.
Emerald Isle is by far my favorite, but I've only been to a few around here. In many of the beaches, however, the water is unbelievably beautiful. The sun hits it in the right light all the time! It's amazing. It's always a good temperature, and the beach itself is spotlessly clean and filled with whole shells to collect. Collecting shells is one of my favorite things to do down here-there are so many different kinds, you're bound to find a ton of shells that are not at all similar.
Al's sister Lily and nephew Oliver hanging out on Topsail Beach.
North Carolina is so amazing during the summer. Not that it's not at other times of the year, especially in fall, when the leaves change and it's pumpkin patch time! But summer is great because that's the time of year most people really get to enjoy North Carolina and all it has to offer. I know I had a blast this week, and I'm excited for the rest of the summer still to come. :)
See you at the beach!
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Why Does Marriage Matter?
It is always surprising to me (though I suppose it shouldn't be, in the world that we live in these days) when people say that marriage doesn't matter anymore. I do agree that some of the value has been taken out of marriage- 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, a statistic that we've been beat over the head with over the past few years, whether as an offhand joke by a pessimistic friend or through some "breaking study" told by a journalist on television. Couples these days don't seem to value marriage the way that those in the past have. Our society has become one of spouses who cheat, spouses who devalue, and spouses who give up. However, the institution of marriage has not lasted through all of these centuries for no reason at all. Though the roots of marriage date back to when marriage was merely an arrangement where one traded their daughter to a good family for livestock or money, it grew into an important show of love. When you get married, you are showing that you want to be with that person forever.
Marriage is a sacred promise to stick by someone, through thick and thin, and place their needs above yours. When you meet someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with, marriage should never be out of the question. The prevalent argument is that marriage is just a ring and a piece of paper, but it is much more than that. It is committing to love one person forever. It is committing to make the endless effort to work out whatever problems you have or will have in the future so that, at the very end, even when you think that no one else is there, your spouse is. Your spouse is your only lover, your best friend, your confidante. Your spouse is there with you, on the front lines of life every single day, to be the one person that supports you, loves you, and makes you feel like everything will be okay. As the "Why Marriage Matters" tag line goes, "It says 'We are Family' in a way that nothing else can".
Moreover, children who are raised in a home with two parents are undeniably better off in life. I'm definitely not saying that there is anything wrong with single mothers-I was raised by a single mother myself, and in our situation, I wouldn't have had it any other way. It's what some women have to do, and for them to step up to the plate and be both mother and father is not only admirable, but often, damn near impossible (ditto for the rising number of single dads-the number of homes in the United States where a father was raising his children without their mother rose 62 percent over the past 10 years). But this is precisely why marriage matters. The hard truth is that, when a couple is married and has made the commitment, it makes it undeniably harder to walk away from each other, their children, and the life that they have created together. There is more of a want to work things out, instead of a want to throw in the towel and go sleep on some ones couch until the next partner in line comes along. When you are married to someone, you realize that at one point in time, you loved this person so much that you decided to commit to them, and only them, and when you decided to commit to them, it meant committing to their flaws, to your life together, and to any problems and situations that arise. When marriages end in divorce, the children often do not understand that it is not their fault, no matter how many times you tell them. If you tell a child that you simply don't love each other anymore, more often than not their thought becomes, "Well, they can love each other again and get back together! They're mom and dad". Children look up to their parents-both of them. And when children don't have that support, it is a proven fact that their grades often begin to suffer, they withdraw from social activities and their feelings become unhealthily internalized, resulting in poorer overall health. Stability and support are essential to children, and having children while being married gives them that sense of support and stability.
Marriage also provides endless benefits for the couple that is married. Married men and women are reported to have longer lives than those who are not married. Married women are reported to have significantly lower instances of depression (postpartum and general) and mental illness, most likely because of the wealth of support that often comes from having a supportive partner and a supportive family unit. Married couples are also less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, and this rate is especially (surprisingly?) lower for men. Compare these statistics to those of couple who are divorced or single. Divorce doubles the rate of suicide and mental illness in both men and women, while single individuals are about four times more likely to be generally unhappy in life. Divorced and single women also have an average domestic abuse rate of 14 percent, compared to married couples, where the abuse rate is currently at 5 percent. Married people are also twice as likely to report being happy with life in general than those who are divorced or single. Marriage is a lifelong commitment that has many benefits for those involved.
Marrying for love is something that has been around for ages and should not be thrown to the wayside. Marriage is a sacred tradition, one that should be taken advantage of for years to come and a way to grab your partners hand and show them, truly, that you are in this thing called life together. Be pessimistic all you want, but the fact is that marriage has many benefits, and although it may not be for everyone, it is something everyone should think about.
Marriage is a sacred promise to stick by someone, through thick and thin, and place their needs above yours. When you meet someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with, marriage should never be out of the question. The prevalent argument is that marriage is just a ring and a piece of paper, but it is much more than that. It is committing to love one person forever. It is committing to make the endless effort to work out whatever problems you have or will have in the future so that, at the very end, even when you think that no one else is there, your spouse is. Your spouse is your only lover, your best friend, your confidante. Your spouse is there with you, on the front lines of life every single day, to be the one person that supports you, loves you, and makes you feel like everything will be okay. As the "Why Marriage Matters" tag line goes, "It says 'We are Family' in a way that nothing else can".
Moreover, children who are raised in a home with two parents are undeniably better off in life. I'm definitely not saying that there is anything wrong with single mothers-I was raised by a single mother myself, and in our situation, I wouldn't have had it any other way. It's what some women have to do, and for them to step up to the plate and be both mother and father is not only admirable, but often, damn near impossible (ditto for the rising number of single dads-the number of homes in the United States where a father was raising his children without their mother rose 62 percent over the past 10 years). But this is precisely why marriage matters. The hard truth is that, when a couple is married and has made the commitment, it makes it undeniably harder to walk away from each other, their children, and the life that they have created together. There is more of a want to work things out, instead of a want to throw in the towel and go sleep on some ones couch until the next partner in line comes along. When you are married to someone, you realize that at one point in time, you loved this person so much that you decided to commit to them, and only them, and when you decided to commit to them, it meant committing to their flaws, to your life together, and to any problems and situations that arise. When marriages end in divorce, the children often do not understand that it is not their fault, no matter how many times you tell them. If you tell a child that you simply don't love each other anymore, more often than not their thought becomes, "Well, they can love each other again and get back together! They're mom and dad". Children look up to their parents-both of them. And when children don't have that support, it is a proven fact that their grades often begin to suffer, they withdraw from social activities and their feelings become unhealthily internalized, resulting in poorer overall health. Stability and support are essential to children, and having children while being married gives them that sense of support and stability.
Marriage also provides endless benefits for the couple that is married. Married men and women are reported to have longer lives than those who are not married. Married women are reported to have significantly lower instances of depression (postpartum and general) and mental illness, most likely because of the wealth of support that often comes from having a supportive partner and a supportive family unit. Married couples are also less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, and this rate is especially (surprisingly?) lower for men. Compare these statistics to those of couple who are divorced or single. Divorce doubles the rate of suicide and mental illness in both men and women, while single individuals are about four times more likely to be generally unhappy in life. Divorced and single women also have an average domestic abuse rate of 14 percent, compared to married couples, where the abuse rate is currently at 5 percent. Married people are also twice as likely to report being happy with life in general than those who are divorced or single. Marriage is a lifelong commitment that has many benefits for those involved.
Marrying for love is something that has been around for ages and should not be thrown to the wayside. Marriage is a sacred tradition, one that should be taken advantage of for years to come and a way to grab your partners hand and show them, truly, that you are in this thing called life together. Be pessimistic all you want, but the fact is that marriage has many benefits, and although it may not be for everyone, it is something everyone should think about.
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Sunday Soul Song: Shawn Mcdonald, "Rise"
Sundays are one of my favorite days of the week, a time to relax and enjoy church and friends and family and life. Getting motivated in the morning can be hard, and staying peaceful and thoughtful throughout the day can be hard too, so I like to put on songs that give me that good feeling to set the mood. For the past couple of weeks, I've had the song "Rise" in the back of my head by Shawn McDonald. It's a beautiful, simple, peaceful song that just makes me feel good inside. Give it a listen-I guarantee you you'll be hooked. As soon as I heard the first few lines on the radio, I loved it.
John 16:33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
Have a great Sunday everyone!
Shawn Mcdonald performing "Rise" acoustic
Have a great Sunday everyone!
O Sister, Where Art Thou?
So, apparently when you stop maintaining a blog regularly, and then go back to check on it months later, you suddenly rack up FORTY SIX VIEWS in one day (sorry if that sounds measly; that's double what I usually make and triple the amount of people I think actually want to read my thoughts). Don't get me wrong-I have definitely missed blogging. But pesky life has gotten in the way during the first half of this year. Imagine my surprise when I realized I hadn't posted anything new since December!
The first six months of this year (and my first eight of being twenty four!) have most definitely been some of my busiest. To recap:
-Had my first experience with incorrectly filling out tax paperwork and owing the government money. But I guarantee you-I will never make that mistake again! Note to self and others-always claim "0" if you don't have kids. Otherwise, you will be in for a nasty shock come tax time, especially if you're counting on getting one of your highest tax refunds that you've ever gotten.
-Had my second experience with cats contracting worms. Some info: There are tapeworms (caused by eating fleas, get rid of them with one praziquantel pill). There are heart worms (rare in cats, caused by mosquitoes, tend to die quickly because of some weird "cat immunity"). There are hookworms (caused by eating or drinking contaminated food or water, more common in cats than dogs, usually treated by starting your cat on a monthly multi-worm pill, and then you're good). And then....there's ROUNDWORMS. At this point, we've tried both a liquid and a powdered pill treatment, and the latter seems to be working. Today is their fourth dose, and hopefully, this will be the end of our three months roundworm saga. If not, these guys are going back to the vet for another check up and some seriously expensive deworming.
-Had my first experience with the North Carolina DMV. Apparently, every year your car has to be inspected, they don't mail you a notice because it's on your registration, and your license plate has to be renewed. And there's no public inspection place. This is in addition to the yearly property tax. Surprise!
- I ventured up North for an all-too-brief weekend visit marking Miss Eileen Martinez's 21st birthday! We had a great time. Hit a couple of bars, had a girls night out that ended at Denny's, and had a great sweaty, dirty, booze-filled day at Bayfest in Somers Point. Though it was short, it was the most fun I've had in a long time!
Me, Sasha, and the birthday girl in the back.
-I celebrated Oliver's fourth birthday :) To see a child grow from diapers and barely walking to a constantly running, mess making, day brightening, simply adorable chatterbox is remarkable, and after going through it with Oliver, I'm even more excited for when I finally have children.
Check out this cutie pie tearing into a present :) Spoiler alert: it was a pirate ship with action figures from Granma and Pop!
-And finally....excitingly.....::drumroll please::.....I finally dragged my butt back to college. It's something that I have wanted to do for a long time. I always felt that college was still in the cards for me. After much thought, I decided to go with my heart and attend college for English Education. When I get out, I will be able to teach high school and community college English and Spanish (a foreign language sequence is required for the degree, so I will be fluent in Spanish by the time I graduate). My advisor also told me that getting certified to teach middle grades wouldn't take much more, so I can be easily certified for that once I have my degree in hand. I am beyond excited to be going back for my degree, and this time, it is for something I love and will stick with. I still dream of owning a bookstore, but having a degree to fall back on in case my dreams don't pan out is important for me, and having it be in a career field that I love-that is definitely worth the time and money. I'm so excited to be attending Craven Community College in the fall, and from there, hopefully move on to East Carolina University. Go Panthers and Pirates!
So for now, I shall sign off on that note. Don't worry-I'll be back this time.
The first six months of this year (and my first eight of being twenty four!) have most definitely been some of my busiest. To recap:
-Had my first experience with incorrectly filling out tax paperwork and owing the government money. But I guarantee you-I will never make that mistake again! Note to self and others-always claim "0" if you don't have kids. Otherwise, you will be in for a nasty shock come tax time, especially if you're counting on getting one of your highest tax refunds that you've ever gotten.
-Had my second experience with cats contracting worms. Some info: There are tapeworms (caused by eating fleas, get rid of them with one praziquantel pill). There are heart worms (rare in cats, caused by mosquitoes, tend to die quickly because of some weird "cat immunity"). There are hookworms (caused by eating or drinking contaminated food or water, more common in cats than dogs, usually treated by starting your cat on a monthly multi-worm pill, and then you're good). And then....there's ROUNDWORMS. At this point, we've tried both a liquid and a powdered pill treatment, and the latter seems to be working. Today is their fourth dose, and hopefully, this will be the end of our three months roundworm saga. If not, these guys are going back to the vet for another check up and some seriously expensive deworming.
-Had my first experience with the North Carolina DMV. Apparently, every year your car has to be inspected, they don't mail you a notice because it's on your registration, and your license plate has to be renewed. And there's no public inspection place. This is in addition to the yearly property tax. Surprise!
- I ventured up North for an all-too-brief weekend visit marking Miss Eileen Martinez's 21st birthday! We had a great time. Hit a couple of bars, had a girls night out that ended at Denny's, and had a great sweaty, dirty, booze-filled day at Bayfest in Somers Point. Though it was short, it was the most fun I've had in a long time!
-I celebrated Oliver's fourth birthday :) To see a child grow from diapers and barely walking to a constantly running, mess making, day brightening, simply adorable chatterbox is remarkable, and after going through it with Oliver, I'm even more excited for when I finally have children.
-And finally....excitingly.....::drumroll please::.....I finally dragged my butt back to college. It's something that I have wanted to do for a long time. I always felt that college was still in the cards for me. After much thought, I decided to go with my heart and attend college for English Education. When I get out, I will be able to teach high school and community college English and Spanish (a foreign language sequence is required for the degree, so I will be fluent in Spanish by the time I graduate). My advisor also told me that getting certified to teach middle grades wouldn't take much more, so I can be easily certified for that once I have my degree in hand. I am beyond excited to be going back for my degree, and this time, it is for something I love and will stick with. I still dream of owning a bookstore, but having a degree to fall back on in case my dreams don't pan out is important for me, and having it be in a career field that I love-that is definitely worth the time and money. I'm so excited to be attending Craven Community College in the fall, and from there, hopefully move on to East Carolina University. Go Panthers and Pirates!
So for now, I shall sign off on that note. Don't worry-I'll be back this time.
Monday, December 17, 2012
End of the Year Survey
I've been trying so hard to figure out a new blogpost for this month. I've posted one before this today, but in my emotional state, I've decided to just do this survey for now. When I can put words together, I will post a new end of year blog post. So much has happened that it deserves a better recap, but with the tragedy in Newtown amid other things in my life, this seems most appropriate for right now.
Where did you begin 2012? In my new home with Al-our first together.
What was your status by Valentines Day? Together for the 2nd year with the same man,
Were you in school anytime this year? Nope.
Did you have to go to the hospital? Yes-ugh, April ::eye roll::
Did you have any encounters with the police? Unfortunately lol....only the accident and one other incident.
Where did you go on vacation? Joisey, baby, and Philadelphia.
What did you purchase that was over 100 dollars? A car, car insurance, animals (with the accessories, of course)
Did you know anybody who got married? Yes-congrats to my brother Teddy! :)
Did you know anybody who passed away? Yes-my boyfriend's family.
Did you move anywhere? In the beginning of the year, and that is it thankfully!
What sporting events did you attend? None-wish I could say I had
What concerts/shows did you go to? Jason Mraz
Describe your birthday: low key, dinner at Circa, then a pig pickin a week later (my first!) with great friends from work and great family.
What is the one thing you thought you would not do, but did, in 2012? Get more animals! Somehow, we've turned into the Carolina Ark House.
What has been your favorite moments? Eileen visiting, getting our second animal, our first place, my brother's wedding...there were a few!
Any new additions to your family? The list of animals...Joey (kitty), Anu and Harlot (rats), Pinky and Brain (mice), Brownie (guinea pig) and our three goldfish.
What was your best month? hmmmm....every month had its ups and downs. I'd say probably June. Or August! Eileen came to visit :)
Who has been your best drinking buddy? Haha Lou Anne Skinner! And Janeau, as usual!
Made new friends? A few (hey, Cybill!) ;)
Favorite night out? Going to the Cabana Club. Man, that was an experience.
Other than home, where did you spend most of your time? Janeau and Luther's, of course
Be honest - did you watch American Idol? Does The Voice count? ;)
Change your hairstyle? Nah. It's getting to be time for a change though.
Have any car accidents? Yep :( My shoulder still yells at me from time to time.
How old did you turn this year? 24. ::shudder::
Do you have a New Years resolution? Get into shape for my yoga teacher training in September!
Do anything embarrassing? Every. freakin. day.
Buy anything new from eBay? Nah, Amazon. Ebay only does Paypal now.
Get married or divorced? Nope.
Get arrested? Lol thankfully not.
Been snowboarding? Not in forever!
Did you get sick this year? Only when my wisdom teeth got taken out. And a mild sinus infection.
Are you happy to see 2012 end? I am so ready for 2013!
Been naughty or nice? A little of both ;)
Where did you begin 2012? In my new home with Al-our first together.
What was your status by Valentines Day? Together for the 2nd year with the same man,
Were you in school anytime this year? Nope.
Did you have to go to the hospital? Yes-ugh, April ::eye roll::
Did you have any encounters with the police? Unfortunately lol....only the accident and one other incident.
Where did you go on vacation? Joisey, baby, and Philadelphia.
What did you purchase that was over 100 dollars? A car, car insurance, animals (with the accessories, of course)
Did you know anybody who got married? Yes-congrats to my brother Teddy! :)
Did you know anybody who passed away? Yes-my boyfriend's family.
Did you move anywhere? In the beginning of the year, and that is it thankfully!
What sporting events did you attend? None-wish I could say I had
What concerts/shows did you go to? Jason Mraz
Describe your birthday: low key, dinner at Circa, then a pig pickin a week later (my first!) with great friends from work and great family.
What is the one thing you thought you would not do, but did, in 2012? Get more animals! Somehow, we've turned into the Carolina Ark House.
What has been your favorite moments? Eileen visiting, getting our second animal, our first place, my brother's wedding...there were a few!
Any new additions to your family? The list of animals...Joey (kitty), Anu and Harlot (rats), Pinky and Brain (mice), Brownie (guinea pig) and our three goldfish.
What was your best month? hmmmm....every month had its ups and downs. I'd say probably June. Or August! Eileen came to visit :)
Who has been your best drinking buddy? Haha Lou Anne Skinner! And Janeau, as usual!
Made new friends? A few (hey, Cybill!) ;)
Favorite night out? Going to the Cabana Club. Man, that was an experience.
Other than home, where did you spend most of your time? Janeau and Luther's, of course
Be honest - did you watch American Idol? Does The Voice count? ;)
Change your hairstyle? Nah. It's getting to be time for a change though.
Have any car accidents? Yep :( My shoulder still yells at me from time to time.
How old did you turn this year? 24. ::shudder::
Do you have a New Years resolution? Get into shape for my yoga teacher training in September!
Do anything embarrassing? Every. freakin. day.
Buy anything new from eBay? Nah, Amazon. Ebay only does Paypal now.
Get married or divorced? Nope.
Get arrested? Lol thankfully not.
Been snowboarding? Not in forever!
Did you get sick this year? Only when my wisdom teeth got taken out. And a mild sinus infection.
Are you happy to see 2012 end? I am so ready for 2013!
Been naughty or nice? A little of both ;)
For My Generation
When I was a child, we said the pledge of allegiance every day at school as written with our hand over our hearts.
We knew not to curse or we would be sent to the principal's office.
We knew if we got into a fight or threatened another student, we would be suspended, and our parents would whip us or ground us when we got home.
We walked the streets alone at the age of 10 because we knew which streets to stay on, which streets not to go near, and to leave our parents a note letting them know what we were wearing when we left, what time we left, what time we would be back, and who we were with.
We learned in first grade what to do if a family member touched you inappropriately, if a kidnapper tried to approach you, or if you saw a suspicious stranger.
We knew not to touch our parents guns, and that said guns were only to be used by policeman and responsible adults, unless they were being used for hunting with an adult or were of the bb/paintball variety.
We had these things in schools called mentors, and programs and special housing for children who were at risk, from rough backgrounds, or had mental/personality disorders.
Parents need to take responsibility for raising their children correctly, like our generation was raised. Our generation was NOT raised to be a bunch of sloppy, lazy, irresponsible, rude people. We were the last generation as a whole that I have seen to be raised with manners, respect, street smarts, and common sense.
Bring back kindness. Don't forget your roots. Because if you forget them, than every future generation will as well.
We knew not to curse or we would be sent to the principal's office.
We knew if we got into a fight or threatened another student, we would be suspended, and our parents would whip us or ground us when we got home.
We walked the streets alone at the age of 10 because we knew which streets to stay on, which streets not to go near, and to leave our parents a note letting them know what we were wearing when we left, what time we left, what time we would be back, and who we were with.
We learned in first grade what to do if a family member touched you inappropriately, if a kidnapper tried to approach you, or if you saw a suspicious stranger.
We knew not to touch our parents guns, and that said guns were only to be used by policeman and responsible adults, unless they were being used for hunting with an adult or were of the bb/paintball variety.
We had these things in schools called mentors, and programs and special housing for children who were at risk, from rough backgrounds, or had mental/personality disorders.
Parents need to take responsibility for raising their children correctly, like our generation was raised. Our generation was NOT raised to be a bunch of sloppy, lazy, irresponsible, rude people. We were the last generation as a whole that I have seen to be raised with manners, respect, street smarts, and common sense.
Bring back kindness. Don't forget your roots. Because if you forget them, than every future generation will as well.
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